Blog G

Are you into your gear? I'm not a mountaineer, because of the incredibly high standard of gear one needs, which, regrettably, one has to tote UP the hill. However I am a skier, and I enjoy most of all the descent, though I can be persuaded to exert considerable energy to get across to a decent expanse of powder snow. My gear is pretty good. I've cheated sneaked and cajoled my way into a variety of test days where I've been able to get onto the best products available and blast a short fast route down a slope to see what really is the gear, and what really is just a load of hype. It's amazing how this stuff varies in quality and performance, and I wonder how we are all doing now we are obliged to source a lot of our recreational goods from the newly emerging asian producers. I have always liked nice stuff; I've enjoyed good tailors whenever I've sought a suit, as I'm a tall skinny type who doesn't fit 'off the peg' clothes much, and the last time I ordered a suit, the fabric fell apart after a couple of day's wear, and, surprisingly, the fabric supplier reimbursed the cost of the cloth AND the cost of the tailor. This is the twenty first century, and most of my time in the complaints department of the many stores I patronise gives me the impression that the customer is always wrong. So now I am viewing the rash of PRC products which I am tempted to buy, and I always scrutinise the labelling on the 'Grand' brands of goods offered too. Here's my gripe. CE is a pair of letters that say there was a set of rules put in front of the manufacturer before he signed the contract to supply. It promises no quality control, and, with my partner's €200 pair of sunglasses, the finish fell apart very quickly, the earpads softened and disintegrated, and while they could replace the frame with a new one, it had to be identical otherwise the prescription lenses wouldn't fit; what would you do? Want another pair the same? I did a replacement of the earpieces using near matching heatshrink tubing, which has done fine, but my ITALIAN sunnies with the synthetic nosepads have gone strange, and they don't make that model anymore, and there is no warranty options available to me; I'll wait till I'm using a cartridge of suitable gunk and I'll remanufacture the nosepads with something durable. I'm renovating a house right now, and my German disc grinder is a replacement for the one that fell apart too quickly, and fortunately the retailer knew me and treated me well. My second grinder is a dirt cheap PRC model with a speed control; it failed rapidly, and I got a replacement, with trepidation, that was the last one on the shelf. I've given it heaps of work and it's fine. Same with a lot of my new gear. Plan to get back to the retailer quickly if there's a problem, hope the second one is better. Now do the math; can't we get the 'CE' quality control up to standard? Is this just a bureaucratic wank? How about TUV? Have you bought any 'TUV' certified product? For years I've sworn by it; it's stamped on my ski bindings; they protect my bones and ligaments, and a recent cheap Polish tool I bought functions perfectly, but I got a lemon, too, and complained directly to the TUV organization; I've had months of 'getting nowhere' with heaps of emails, the upshot of which is that I am expected to do the research on this product myself, take digital photographs and document the problem, and send the wrapping and relevant details to these bods....yeah right.... how about I reappraise the thousands (yes) of dollars I've invested in TUV marked products, and start trying other options? The Gear to Garbage cycle needs cutting down; it's not hard; I'm reminded of the 'Nothing' campaign, where one artist prompted a city to 'just stop' consuming for one day; there was also a climatologically fascinating episode for three days after 9:11 when no commercial aircraft flew American skies; I've a blueprint for a solar powered plastics recycling unit, which turns the melted plastic into giant Lego blocks, free to one and all to construct walls, bins, utility structures; in fact anything at all, as burying this stuff in our architecture is probably the best way of all to deal with the plastic bottles that even this conservationist has no solution for. You want the chance to help fabricate these recycling units? I'm keen if you are; I've got a mile of little structures that could use this product..... Nuff said.

F

There's none so queer as ....... I live in Europe; about 15,000 years of tribal borders. While the Swiss may fancy their design skills, the Germans their engineering, and the French their technology, the tribal fundamentals of this lot means they'e lousy communicators. Across the forty or so languages, one might expect to see a consensus that this EU conglomeration should attend to more effective communication. Forget it. The biggest inefficiency here is the time one spends circling roundabouts looking for a further direction to the sign on the previous roundabout. Add to that the majority of motorists in the roundabout not indicating where they're going, (possibly for the same reason you're not indicating,) and there's the formula for everything that's wrong with modern life. I was trained as a graphic designer to look up to Swiss Typography. Some twenty years later I regularly cross Geneva, (the name of the 'clearest' typeface) to the airport. The intersections are such that it is essential to position one's car in the correct lane a half a kilometer before the intersection, as lane changing is not recommended anywhere else, but try finding an indication of which lane for the airport? Impossible, and the signs, when you do spot them, halfway through the intersection, tacked on a power pole, about the size of a magazine, mean you have a huge detour to find a successful U turn place for the retry. I know the way now, but I always look to see if they have gotten the idea yet, and no, they haven't. But they have gotten a fee at the border for touching their motorway system of forty francs, about twenty five euros, and for that priviledge, you are faced with NO TOILETS for the duration of your trip in Switzerland. Oh, you might get a shit splattered cubicle in a converted freight container at the side of a petrol stop, but I get instant constipation at the thought of even going near such an edifice. I think it explains the pained look on Roger Federer's face, and it certainly explains the anally retentive attitude of the swiss police, who will hold you to a group conference for no reason at all, but I think; 'what a great place this would be if they'd only step back and take a look at themselves'....... and no; there's an industry writing in praise of themselves but nothing else. I actually prefer the French's 'fuck you' attitude; if you can't handle the language and the quirkiness, get lost.... They have a troupe of tourist assistants and training staff in Paris trying to improve the attitude to American Tourists, to no avail. I worked in a gang in the alps, renovating old farm buildings for wealthy British buyers, and never was there an attempt to communicate; if a command could be made more obscure, the language was chosen to make that order as obscure as possible; only a native would understand. I cringe to this day for the stupid fool they made out of me. But here I am in Slovenia. The language is unique; sure it is Balkan, but it has three genders, and verbs conjugated accordingly, and I can listen for an hour to the TV and not comprehend a word; this is a rich treasure; the history goes back thousands of years, Jason and the Golden Fleece was a Slovenian event, to some extent, and is regularly celebrated. But share the treasure? Yesterday was EU language day; I asked several people if they could bring me a couple of copies of the brochures that were being distributed in the cities; no such luck, and every day when I think I have something right, I find, later, that it is 20% wrong, and a return trip is necessary to start the process over again. (Like; buying insulation, fabric, plumbing materials, foodstuffs, posting a letter, ordering timber, painting materials, you name it.) So my solution for saving this environment can only be for these races to extinct themselves as soon as possible, (which is what I see them doing) and to re-evolve over the ensuing millennia and maybe they'll be wiser for their mistakes. Nuff said.